Week of May 30, 2021

Are you the woman or man described? Leave a comment here or respond to this email directly and I’ll introduce you to the poster.

No one jumping out to you this week? Check out last week’s ads.

Love song of the week: Washing Machine Heart by Mitski


Someone who outwardly presents as cute/sweet/simple, but has a rich inner life —thoughtful and highly creative. Maybe even a hidden "edge" to them. Not super money/career oriented, preferably mid-20s, post-college (23-27 ish).

Seeking a mate with a certain shine. I can be sweet… about half of the time. Describe a dream, I’ll listen intently, then proceed to do what I want. You and me, we’re fun together.

Back in the day, I'd pen a poem for these sorts of blurbs depicting cleverness and kindness. I'd include a photo showing great hair, stubble, and a smile. But as it turns out, poetry and just doing the expected don't work.

So here's the deal: I have plenty of friends. I'm not waiting on you. If you call, you call. When you do, I make the rules. Must have wide-set large eyes and exhibit a sufficient glow. Otherwise, stay away.


you: open minded intelligent tall chad who doesn't give a fuck what others think about him. masculine, kind but also an asshole, catholic and conservative. is fine with me being trans.

To submit a personal, please send me an email with a description of what you’re seeking with the subject line PERSONALS at Please do not send me a Twitter DM, my DMs are a mess!